Gain Peace of Mind With Boundary Setting
Ruminating thoughts can trigger feelings of fear and anxiety. For many people, rumination feels like drowning during a heavy storm — you’re trying to stay afloat while the waves wash over you. A stream of thoughts competing for your attention can make it impossible to focus or find solid ground. With hypothetical situations filling your mind, you may panic and visualize the worst-case scenarios.
For instance, if you are working at a company with pending layoffs, you may experience ruminations when you consider finances, job security, and the uncertainty of the market. If you lose your position, there’s a lot at stake, so naturally, your mind goes on a frantic search for the answers.
What happens if I get laid off?
How will I handle my finances and support my family?
Do I have enough set aside to pay for rent?
Can I find another job?
As your mind spirals, it becomes harder to find a solution. You may even feel paralyzed from trying to put the pieces together. Attempting to look at the whole picture is overwhelming, especially with distressing thoughts weighing on you. Before you fall deeper into the abyss, you must set boundaries with yourself.
Your inner critic is the primary source of your ruminating
The guiding voice trying to protect you from harm is your inner critic. Its purpose is to keep you safe, yet it contributes to the noise in your brain. Your inner voice may wave red flags and caution you from taking action. In some cases, it may point out your insecurities, causing mental barriers on your journey. Instead of defining solutions and making progress toward them, you may experience hesitance and self-doubt.
While your inner critic is meant to be a compass, sometimes it doesn’t lead you in the right direction. That’s why reflecting on your thoughts and questioning their validity is essential. Is this belief true? Does this thought accurately reflect me and my past experiences?
Most times, our ruminations are based on fear rather than reality.
Feeding into toxic thoughts from your inner voice is not beneficial. The longer you sit in the ruminating space, the more likely it will develop into a belief system. Stopping the ruminating prevents the belief system from taking root, allowing you to plant another ideology that will help you navigate your circumstances better.
Working through rumination and cultivating real change
When you’re lying in bed thinking about your job situation or the uncertainty of the future, breaking your chain of thoughts is hard, but it’s not impossible. You can set boundaries with yourself and reclaim control over your mind with the following steps:
- Give yourself a break: Step away from your thoughts and take notice of what’s going on inside. If an anxious idea pops up, acknowledge it and let it go. You don’t need to explore it right now. While your feelings are completely valid, dwelling in the ruminating space won’t provide clarity or a sense of calm. Make the choice to pause.
- Comfort your inner child: Imagine talking with your inner child. How would you console a child after losing a game? What would you say to help them overcome feelings of defeat and disappointment? How can you show this child within compassion? Engaging in an internal conversation may inspire some realizations related to your current circumstance.
- Apply your conversation to the present: After opening up and dialing into your inner child, try talking to your present self in the same manner. Connect the messages you shared with your inner child to your current situation. Doing so will allow you to perceive your reality with compassion rather than criticism. Some ways to show self-compassion are acknowledging your concerns and offering encouragement.
- Take action to address the problem: Ruminating will not change your circumstances, but putting down stepping stones will. You will gain relief and peace of mind when you take actionable steps to address your issues. For instance, if you’re struggling with finances, consider solutions to relieve your financial stress, like budgeting, spending intentionally, and searching for affordable rent.
Taking charge of your ruminating thoughts is the first step to returning to how you want to be and feel. Set aside time to practice mindfulness and honor your boundaries with intention.
Setting boundaries with yourself
We live in an uncertain world, and the unpredictability feels like we have no control over our lives. This lack of control often reveals itself in many ways, like not establishing clear boundaries with others or ourselves because we don’t realize we can. However, that’s not true.
The one thing we do have control over is our minds.
We decide whether or not we are going to ruminate.
We determine if our thoughts will influence our actions.
We can call out our inner critic and question the validity of the chatter.
But to gain control over our minds, we must begin with boundaries. Setting your own boundaries allows you to turn inward and listen to your inner wisdom.
Telling your mind to stop ruminating is an excellent example of boundary setting. It’s choosing to honor yourself and care for your mental health rather than entertain hypothetical situations.
If you experience anxious thoughts, follow the steps listed above. Mantras are also helpful for dismantling toxic ideas before they take root and planting positive beliefs in their place. Here are some mantras you can recite:
- I am in control of my mind.
- I have the power to take steps toward a solution.
- I am safe, and I am capable.
In addition, visualization is a powerful practice to shift your attention towards what you want for your life. Visualization helps you imagine how you want to be and feel as you progress towards your goals. For example, maybe you feel helpless after a layoff, using the power of visualization to create the best-case scenario can get you moving towards a better future. Notice how that feels. What steps can you see yourself taking to get there? Whether you update your LinkedIn or network with other professionals, envisioning yourself taking these steps can inspire you to do them in real life.
Finally, consider removing the emotion from the scenario and viewing it objectively. A company’s decision to downsize is not your fault, even if it affects you on a personal level. A random thought is just a momentary idea, and worrying about the future is a common concern.
When you perceive reality as it stands, you can be mindful of the thoughts running through your brain and dismiss them if they don’t serve you.
You have the power to overcome rumination
When it comes to unforeseeable circumstances affecting you, like getting laid off or being forced to commute to the office again, it’s important to realize that you don’t need a solution on day 1. As long as you’re taking baby steps toward your goal, you will experience less anxiety building up within you as you take control over your mind from ruminating out of control.
You have everything within you to reclaim your power. All you need to do is clarify those boundaries, quiet the rumination, and listen to your inner wisdom. When you trust your valuable insight, you can overcome any internal noise that tells you otherwise.
Do you struggle with ruminating thoughts? Hypnotherapy is an excellent tool that can assist you with navigating your inner critic and guiding your introspection. Schedule a virtual session with Mindful Hypnotherapy of San Francisco today to get started!
